Tuesday, April 7, 2009

food network

*spoiler warning*

In Breaking Dawn, the Cullens (or Edward; it's slightly ambiguous) cook food for the wolves. On their honeymoon, Edward makes apparently delicious omelettes for Bella. In a bonus chapter on S.Meyer's website, Edward cooks dinner for Bella before the prom and apparently it's fabulous; Charlie even tells Bella to have Edward cook more often for them. (Charlie, not prizing Bella's cooking above all else?! Sacrilege!)

I think it would have been more interesting for the plot if cooking were the one thing Edward could not do well. I mean, he can't really taste food at all, he didn't even know it was pizza sliding down his throat when he ate school lunch to make a point to Bella.

Fact: ALL REAL COOKS taste the food they make, and rely on their palate as a judge during the cooking process.
Fact: Vampires as old as Edward/the Cullens have forgotten what is appetizing and what food tastes like. How would they know what they're serving even tastes good?
Fact: Cooks are good cooks when they can improvise and substitute to improve upon a dish, and are good judges of what to do and what not to do in the kitchen.

Sure, the Cullens can watch Food Network. But they won't be able to make superlative dishes from just emulating the person on TV. They wouldn't be able to distinguish flavors and make the substitutions or innovations or improvisations that distinguish a good cook from a mediocre/amateur cook.

You could assail this logic by waving your hand and saying, "But vampires have perfect detailed memories so they will remember every fact ever about cooking and every trick cooks employ."

Still, I think there would have been funny dialogue possibilities if Edward tried to cook and it turned out to be kind of off; then Bella could step in and assert some superiority for fucking once!

2 comments:

  1. i was trying to read all your posts when i realized that it kind of hurt. the black background begins to burn your eyes after a lil while and everything's purply when i look away...

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  2. yeah, i'm sorry about that. i don't know anything about graphics and aesthetics, i just wanted to do something vampire-y. what do you think? feel free to play with it

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