tween fight

This is what happens when tweens get into an argument over a fictional love object.

http://thenewprecious.blogspot.com/2008/05/edward-cullen.html

why Twilight, and why Edward

I came across this post on a movie reviews/news blog, and this particular blogger voiced something that I had been feeling, but haven't fully expressed verbally yet. So, since I found her words pretty much on point, I will just let them speak for themselves. (With a little spell-check from me though. ^_^)

http://www.chud.com/articles/blogs/1398/twilight.html

"I'm not kidding when I say it is a cult. The books are like crack. It's taken me a ridiculously short amount of time to finish all four books, over 2,000 pages altogether. I can't put the fucking things down. I haven't been this excited about a book in a long time, which is saying a lot because I am a constant reader. I fell for Edward HARD.

And I can't really explain what it is about the books, exactly. I don't know if it's because I am a woman and the books touch something deep inside that screams that I am not good enough, not special enough (as the main character, Bella, believes about herself). I'd like to think myself intelligent enough to be able to see into any sort of romantic true love brain washing the books may use.

But I'm not smart enough. I am a hopeless romantic, always have been. Convinced I would love passionately and die for love, if necessary. I know this blog will make all of the CHUD readers puke, and I apologize for that. But if you can get past the love story, there's a great action story there too. And I think men could learn a lot by reading these books. Edward is exactly what women want.

Exactly.

And it's not about being a vampire, or beautiful, or rich. It's about making the woman feel like she is the most glorious thing in the world, and that you would give up immortality for her.

I'm trying to help you guys get a piece of tail, alright?

But be careful and take this cult very very seriously."

Amen, sistah.

hot topic! (not): DVD release party details

So, the Hot Topic jaunt was a bit of an adventure but not exactly in the way I had planned.
First off, I had to get there. This may seem like a trivial detail to you, but I have very strict parents who pretty much never let me do anything and still treat me like a 12-year-old child instead of somebody who has graduated from college and has had a driver's license for several years.
Telling the truth is (most of the time) out of the question. In fact, it's often easier to not say anything. So I originally planned to just sneak out by the time Mom fell asleep, and jet off to the mall. Blasting the Twilight soundtrack all the way there, of course. I even downloaded some songs from the score just for the occasion!
But of course Mom took forever to go to bed, insisting on cutting her nails, trimming her bangs, fussing with her foot file, all manner of shit that she NEVER usually does before bed and of course she had to pick this night to do all of them! All the while the clock was ticking and the Hot Topic salesperson had told me over the phone to get to the mall by 9PM or the mall would close and I wouldn't be able to get in. It was already 8:45 by the time Mom clambered into bed and it's usually a 25 minute drive to the mall...so I was at my wit's end. I dressed quickly but she called out to me to ask me a question, and she has a nasty habit of yelling at me from her bed every so often before she falls asleep, so I didn't think she would be fully asleep by the time I escaped. I settled for a white lie.

"Hey Mom, I'm going to Blockbuster to rent a DVD."
"Whaaaa? It's 8:50!"
"So...?"
"No, you stay at home!"
"Mom, you let Kevin (my older brother) rent movies all the time."
"No, we have to clean house tomorrow!"
"So...?"
"You're a girl, it's so late at night!"
"So...?"

That went on for quite a bit longer and finally I just TOLD her, "I'm GOING!!!!" and left. Then in my rush to pull out of the driveway, I stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake, and that was kind of a...yeah I hope Mom didn't hear that through her bedroom window.

I drove like a Cullen to the mall, and got there at 9:20. Seriously, I drove faster than I've ever driven before, and I am usually a pretty slow driver, so it was a big deal. I think I averaged 80 mph. Then, panicked, I finally ran into the mall and it turned out that the Hot Topic lady had lied. It is quite possible to enter the mall even after 9pm, or 10pm, or 11pm...whenever, as long as the Hot Topic was still open. You just had to find the right mall entrance.

It was OK with me though. I rolled up my striped knee socks, donned my improvised Cullen baseball cap (a blue and white baseball cap that originally said Tufts School of Engineering on it, which I covered with masking tape and drew a "C" on with Sharpie), and got ready to bond with fellow Twilighters.

I spotted them immediately, a pair of vacant-eyed, hoodie-wearing girls sitting on a bench outside the store. As far as I could see, the two girls were the only fans there other than me. The Hot Topic staff had lowered the metal grill thingy over the store entrance and said they would open at 10pm.

I introduced myself and tried to start a conversation about Twilight--the fidelity of the movie adaptation, the appropriateness of the casting, the cinematography...anything, really. Maybe even bring up my blog and suggest that they take a look, since I'm always trying to expand readership. To my dismay, the girls weren't very responsive, and one of them even mistakenly referred to Rpatz as "whats-his-name...Edward Pattinson."

I turned away for a moment as I choked in horror.

Those two should start a blog called Dumb People Who Like Twilight.

A trio of three tween girls showed up, and I decided to try my luck with them. One of them had worn a Team Edward hoodie and styled her hair to look like Alice, so I complimented her haircut and tried to make small talk.
They were enthusiastic enough when I asked to take a picture of them. The Alice-haired girl even wore golden brown contacts...she was really into it! And one of them wore a "Cullen crest" pendant. But I soon found that not only were they not able to keep up intelligent conversation, but their fandom was also very superficial and merchandise-based. Seriously...none of them wanted to engage with the themes or plot/logic discontinuities or ANYTHING!

Those three should start a blog called Vapid Tweens Who Like Twilight, Funded by Irresponsibly Lax Suburban Parents.

I quickly realized that my hopes of bonding with fans of like intellect/maturity were a lost cause, and settled for putting in my headphones and listening to the soundtrack some more.

As 10pm approached, a few more straggled in--a frumpy mom and her shockingly similarly frumpy daughter. The kind of girl who you can tell doesn't get out much, probably has never kissed, and sits alone in her high school cafeteria. But maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. Most people who are so into Twilight, that they would have nothing better to do on a Friday night than come to a suburban mall's DVD release event, would be the escapist fantasy-book-reading type. I know this sounds coarse but let's get real here. Many of those "types" are not the type who maintain their personal appearance very well, or dress well, or are outgoing, or charismatic, or bodily fit. (Or maybe it was just my luck at this particular Hot Topic. Maybe I should've gone to Borders. But I bet this scene was repeated in thousands of other Hot Topics across America: the Twilight PR machine builds up expectations and encourages fans to unite, in numbers and pocketbooks, to anticipate the DVD release and all bond over buying it together. But really, it's not a glamorous event, or even that fun; it's just random weirdos milling about in the same store, not really making eye contact; and a convenient way for Hot Topic to ring up more merchandise.)

It's kind of sad, and a huge let-down emotionally for me, that I was the only true fan there. Meaning, I was the only one with a creative bone in my body (I made that fucking hat!!) and the only one who IS a fan but can still intellectually distance herself from the franchise (granted, it doesn't take many brain cells to do that).

Finally the Hot Topic workers lifted the grate and let us in. All 15 of us. The lady in combat boots, fishnets, and electric blue eyeshadow stopped me and asked to see my "Hot Topic Party Invitation." I said I didn't have one but I had spoken to a staff member on the phone this afternoon who'd said as long as I came by 9pm I would get in. She narrowed her eyes at me, looked at the rest of the line, looked at me again, and decided it wasn't worth it, grudgingly letting me past the grate.

Hot Topic: 0
Me: 1

Once inside the store, though, there was nothing to do except look at Hot Topic stuff (fishnets, studded belts, slutty shit), fill out a raffle form, and stand around. 2 more hours of this shiz?! I've already taken my picture with the life-sized cardboard Edward, what if my head explodes of boredom before midnight? What if Mom wakes up and checks my bed, checks the driveway, flips out, and calls me? Would she believe that I spent 3 hours at Blockbuster?

Finally a reprieve: trivia every half-hour (prize = $5 HT gift card), which I was sure I could lock up like whoa, and they were selling the Twilight Director's Notebook by Catherine Hardwicke. So, I could at least pass the time by reading something (without buying it, of course).

I won one of the trivia rounds, yay! The winning question I answered was, "What momento of Bella's does Edward hold on to?"

Answer: the lemonade bottle cap from lunch

And one that I was SURE, almost 100% positive I had right, but they said I got wrong: "What was the name of the restaurant Edward took Bella to?"

I said La Bella Italia, but the girl said I was wrong...Imma look into it. But I had already won a prize, so I thought I should let the other tweens have at it.

I took some pictures of the particularly funny fan merchandise. By funny I mean stupid, most of the time. For example, they have tons of Twilight t-shirts with pics of Edward or Bella and a movie quote, but they pick the most random or meaningless quotes possible...I can see the appeal of the "I <3 Boys who Sparkle" t-shirt, but why would you ever wear a t-shirt that says "I'm Not Scared Of You"?

They make Edward pillowcases. Looks like a low thread count though...






Finally it was almost midnight and we dutifully let ourselves be herded and lined up for the DVD purchase. I knew better than to bother to talk to the others in line, so in went my headphones and up went the volume. I noticed ahead of me in line that the three vapid tweens had put their allowance to work and were wearing some new Hot Topic pants: low-slung purple cheetah print skinny jeans with zippers. Of course they had no butts but plenty of muffin top, so you can imagine what kind of eyesore that was.

Last night was the first time it occurred to me in an actual real/visceral way that perhaps I shouldn't "care" so much about Twilight--and that I am actually feeling a little over it. That was kind of depressing. I shouldn't go alone to these things.

I went up to the counter and forked over my credit card. The "Hot Topic Exclusive!" DVD came with a poster, so that was cool I guess. And inside our DVD boxes apparently was a "special collectible item"--a small film cell, a piece of film from a roll of film reproduced from the movie. When I opened it later I saw that I got one from the scene of Edward and Bella separating in the Cullen garage. Maybe I can eBay this shiz?

I got my over-priced DVD and drove home, but not before getting lost twice. When I pulled up to the driveway I cut the headlights to not disturb Mom and I hoped I wouldn't smash into anything and she wouldn't wake up. I didn't. She didn't.

Mission accomplished!

midnight release party checklist, and results

The slick marketing/PR machine arm of Twilight released this a few weeks ago.

Highlights:
"Make your guest list, including all your Twilighter friends--and those you want to convert!"
Well, I invited people but no one wanted to come with me.

"Send an eCard to remind your friends to save the date. This will be a Friday to remember!"
Actually, it turned out to be very anti-climactic.

"Go to the store as your favorite vampire or wear a Twilight t-shirt!"
I was the only person in the Hot Topic who came in costume. Every other tween just wore a Twilight t-shirt. WEAK SAUCE!

"Take the Myspace Personality Quiz to see which character you are most like."
I had taken a quiz a while back...I was Edward, thank God.

"Practice your OME (Oh My Edward!) scream!"
My favorite checklist item.

DVD release party tonight!!

Hayyy guys!

I'm going to the Twilight DVD release party at my local mall in a few short hours!

It took me a while, but I finally decided on HOT TOPIC over Borders Booksellers as my #1 spot for the Twilight DVD countdown. Borders' DVD is 2 dollars cheaper, but Hot Topic has more giveaways and almost certainly more tweens, so I'm gonna hit that...plus a raffle for signed Jacob merchandise, and a life-size cardboard-cutout of EDWARD. OMG I wanna win that!

And I just FINALLY decided on what I'm going to wear. I was wavering for the past hour between:
a) Rosalie baseball outfit - striped knee socks, leggings, vest, baseball cap
OR
b) Alice driving Bella south outfit - light blue hooded parka, jeans, black shirt, black choker (I was leaning toward this b/c my hair is short and black)

But thanks to the judicious input of my pal & fellow Twilighter in crime GenieZen, I settled on Rosalie baseball outfit, because "it's more obvious" ...though I will wear the parka on the outside to keep warm on the way there :)
and of course, playing the Twilight soundtrack in the car!

I'll take lots of pictures and post them here when I come back!

retarded fan-art, take 3

See what I mean by over-sexed fangirls and double standards?

Do U think it would ever be okay if someone made a fan-art banner that said "Rape Rihanna" or "Rape Megan Fox" or any other of-the-moment female hottie?
Like what if someone made a banner that said,
"Oh No Pamela!
Error: Pamela Anderson took out her breast implants.
Kill the plastic surg!
OK...
Rape Pam anyway!"

*Although...this is kind of funny, since it shows how un-self-aware some fans are...ha

retarded fan-art, take 2

This is just unnecessary...

retarded fan-art, take 1

New Moon Movie and Twilight Banners
it's kind of dangerous to take it so literally


New Moon Movie and Twilight Banners
OCD much?


New Moon Movie and Twilight Banners
This is just vapid.


New Moon Movie and Twilight Banners
this one is kind of cute actually

starve a mosquito...or a carnivorous vampire!

New Moon Movie and Twilight Banners

funny fan-art, take 1

OCD

I just read this post on another Twilight blog/news site. The blog was talking about the imminent release of the Twilight DVD and asked readers to comment on what plans, if any, they had for DVD viewing parties.
Someone wrote:

We bought a standup Edward for a photo opportunity so we all could be "Bella". Decorating the table with a vase of tulips on a chess board, red apples and red ribbon. We are making red velvet cupcakes and having red punch (spiked & unspiked)and red colored candy. Some of us are buying t-shirts and sweatshirts to wear. Making magnet favors and who knows what else...still planning. Oh yeah, watch the movie and then we are going out dancing (we are all adults with OCD - Obsessive Cullen Disorder! LOL)

Obsessive Cullen Disorder...hmmm.

Twilight cast is boon to Philip Morris!

I've been noticing for a while that cigarettes are more in vogue now than they were when I was in D.A.R.E. programs or when I was in high school (class of 2004). OK, I admit I have a huge nostalgia for the '90s. But I really think that cigarettes are perceived as more "cool" than they were several years ago. I think this coincided with the whole emo/hipster, skinny jeans thing becoming trendy and overtaking the preppy/pretty thing as being the "thing" for young adults/teens to wear or buy into.

The young cast of Twilight is a perfect example of the appeal of cigarettes to young, impressionable minds. K-stew and Rpatz are often photographed smoking. Teens actively Google or are exposed to paparazzi photos of their fave celebs 24/7. Billions of tween girls have seen pix of Rpatz smoking and I know that must affect their D.A.R.E. sensibilities somehow.

So, my thesis is that K-stew and Rpatz and Nikki Reed and all the rest of them lighting up are making bank for Big Tobacco, more bank than Philip Morris could have asked for.
Especially when they wear those Raybans sunglasses, or those striped blazers...they make it look so damn cool!!

the Vampire of the Mall

funny NYT article about Rpatz and his Hot Topic promo appearances for Twilight:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/17/movies/17twil.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=robert%20pattinson%20mall&st=cse



excerpt:
Back on the stage at the King of Prussia Mall, Mr. Pattinson continued to stand awkwardly but, somehow, fantastically beautifully at the same time. A local radio D.J. fed him written questions from the audience, but his answers were buried by screaming.

“Do you guys care about the questions, or do you just want to talk about nothing?” Mr. Pattinson asked.

A young woman in a shirt emblazoned with the Cullen family crest spoke for many: “We just want to look at you.”

fan bases, sexuality, and fangirls

So, if you couldn't already tell, I'm pretty attuned to the whole women/gender/sexuality/feminism/power construct shit. And I've been thinking.

It's socially acceptable for 5,000 screaming girls to mob a Rob Pattinson mall event and beg him to "bite me" and "have my babies" and (as Tyra Banks said) "throw them draw'rs" (throw panties) at him.

Would it be socially acceptable for 5,000 fourteen year old males to go to a Megan Fox promo event (perhaps for the new Transformers movie? which I am excited about seeing, proving that I can be excited about things other than Twilight), and ask her to have sex with them? And scream stuff like, "Let's make a sex tape!" or "Ride my Camaro!" or other dumb shit like that, whatever would be on par with what Twilighters scream?

I bet a lot of women would take offense to young boyz treating Megan Fox like such a piece of meat!

Is there a double standard with gender and acceptable fan behavior?

Also, I was thinking. Zac Efron inspires crazy fangirl behavior too. And if you think about it, a lot of good-looking male singers and actors have a 99% female fanbase. I mean, the whole reason Twilight made so much bank was because female fans COME OUT like no other. So, female fans make bank. Are good-looking female celebs losing out on this bankability?!
And one of the age-old questions of feminists: Are females sabotaging themselves??

Just some thoughts.

has there ever been this much fan clout?

Over the past few weeks/months/years, well basically ever since it was announced that there would be a movie adaptation of Twilight, there has been such a huge outpouring of opinion on forums, blogs, etc. about the casting decisions and what parts of which books should be put in the movies, blah blah blah. A lot of bloggers credit keeping Taylor Lautner on as Jacob to the fan support that he generated when it was rumored he would be cut from the Saga.

It's really out of control! It seems that hordes of tweens can really impact a big-shot director's decisions.
Or can they? Maybe the impression that the movie studio powers-that-be are listening is just a craftily-crafted impression that they want us to believe, so we will be appeased, cuz they know they MUST keep us appeased!! That would be really clever and Orwellian of them, no?

Anyway, I can't remember a time fans/tweens had this much clout. I don't think it was even this serious during Lord of the Rings, or over the still-ongoing Harry Potter! Although, I am not as immersed in the LOTR or HP canon (since those books are actually complex), so maybe this is asymmetrical information bias.

Or maybe it's a product of time/technology, and not degree of fan devotedness/delirium. Because there have never been so many blogs, forums, information leaks, paparazzi shots, Perez Hilton followers, Youtubes of stars' every waking moment, fans taking pix on location, visiting set, etc. as, well, now. The information age madness is really changing our relationship to entertainment, I think in an unhealthy way. Just reflecting on myself, and how I "feed" on new Perez posts or Youtube vids or new photos from the set of New Moon...I gotta admit it's kind of weird and retarded! Maybe even this blog is retarded and I should stop blogging!